With thanks to Pink Floyd

Well I’m Lost For Words! This must be The Final Cut because it looks like there’s Nobody Home. Our Prime Minister is either Comfortably Numb or just Waiting for the Worms. Never mind though The Tide is Turning, he’s looking through Paranoid Eyes but it will be a Great Day for Freedom when it All Makes Perfect Sense and we get rid of New Labour!

Holidays (or Vacations to our friends in the "colonies").

Sooooo, what's been happening in the world whilst I've been partying, eating, lazing on a beach (yes even in the UK), testing and racing my racing car?
The Tories lost an important election. Nope not the EU elections which only served to demonstrate the sheer contempt that the Labour Government is deservedly held in by the British populace. Nope this is the election that the Labour party should have held to remove their prime minister (I use no capitals because he is a small minded individual of little import). Yep the Tories lost it because instead of encouraging the Labour ministers and MPs to do something they ignored it and preferred to gloat (albeit justifiably) about the lack of support and the increase in control that each party has respectively achieved in the local elections.

Brown you are the weakest link. Go now for goodness' sake. And no kissing Anne Robinson either!

However on to more important things. I went to Jersey, that's an island in what we like to call the English channel, where we had great weather for a few days and then English weather for a few days and I gained about three kilos eating and drinking great food and wine. The eating the food and drinking the wine of course. Eating wine tends to hurt when the glass breaks. Anyway I highly recommend the place, it has cliffs, waves, fishing, walks, greenery, and of course restaurants and bars. Go, you won't be disappointed.

Right now I ache a bit. I'm sitting in the BA lounge in Heathrow, waiting for the delayed flight to Doha. I'm aching because I raced my car yesterday and for 45mins in a pretty hot cockpit I fought a monster that was trying desperately to throw itself at the scenery! This was a bit of a shame because prior to yesterday I tested the car and it was brilliant! Going quicker and needing less effort to make it go! Anyway aching or not I went faster than before at the circuit, Kept it on the island and netted a second place pot. As you know real men come second, so that's all right.

MP's Expenses, that accounts for it!

So, the question is who is watching the watcher, when the watcher is being watched?

Of all the lame brained schemes to come from our useless idiotic lame duck of a Prime Minister, is the idea that we need an independent body to check the MP’s expenses. So, its jobs for more of “the boys” and therefore more civil servants to clog up the over burdened state.

If it wasn’t so appallingly incompetent and indeed corrupt, it would be funny. The fact is these people (ministers and MPs) are there on trust and if they can’t be trusted get rid of them. Don’t give them a slapped wrist and claim they are victims of the system, which is what an “independent body” would do and our (using the term loosely) Honourable PM is trying to do.

Sack those who’ve done wrong and let’s move on. Let’s not allow this painful and sadly ruinous debacle to continue any longer. Election time.

Why Can't the FIA Diffuse this?

Well what a surprise! Here we are two races into the new Formula 1 season and lo' some of the teams disagree with others over the interpetation of the regs surrounding diffusers. Interestingly this is all the late Colin Chapman's fault. I kid you not. Back in 1977 the late great engineer, designed a Formula 1 car that aerodynamically surpassed anything that went before. Whilst Patrick Head at Williams was designing possibly the prettiest conventional "flat bottomed" Formula 1 car (the FW06) for the 1978 season, Colin had been studying aircraft design and came up with ground effect. It wasn't new by any means but making it fit with the Formula 1 regulations of the time made his solution innovative.

In essence Colin was using inverted wings on the side of his car to generate downforce as opposed to the normal "lift" seen on an aircraft. This downforce enabled the car to drive through corners much more quickly than traditional flat bottomed cars because the faster it went the more it was stuck to the ground. In the face of this leap of engineering innovation, what did the other teams do? Well, the teams got on with life and went racing. That year Lotus did pretty well and came second, but it was Ferrari who triumphed.

So what has this history lesson to do with the current shenanigans in Paris? Well, it seems that even though he warned them, the technical working group that defined the regulations for this season, ignored Ross Brawn and missed an important trick which has unsurprisingly been leapt upon by Brawn, Williams and Toyota. They have used a loophole in the regulations to produce a diffuser that creates much more downforce (thank you Colin) than the opposition, which includes Ferrari, Renault, Red Bull, BMW and Force India. It seems that rather than get on with life and go racing, these teams are now using the FIA to resolve their disagreements. Surely if the components have been deemed legal in two races by two sets of stewards, then there can't be any case to answer?

Of course the foregoing logic reckons without Ferrari, who are proclaimed in interviews given by the FIA Presdient, as being the most important team in Formula 1. Of course then if Ferrari shouts, the FIA must jump and jump they have.

As I write there is no verdict but we now face the prospect of the winners of the first two races and leaders of the championship being excluded together with those two other teams. About the only consolation, in the event that the teams ore disqualified, is that Ferrari won't actually benefit because they've been so laughably poor they've failed to score a point yet. Indeed their lawyer a Mr. Tozzi has accussed Ross Brawn, who in a previous life was the driving force behind Ferrari's success, of being "supremely arrogant". A trait, I suggest, not totally unfamiliar to the entire Ferrari organisation.

Going back to 1977, what have we lost? Sportsmanship. What have we gained? Manipulation and backbiting.

Sad isn't it?

Darling Alistair's Scotland

Who said: "XXXXXXXX is in a unique position, by virtue of its size and financial strength, to provide support to XXXXXXXXX, and we regard it as both responsible and commercially beneficial to undertake this transaction."? You could be mistaken if you think you’ve heard it before but for me it’s another example of this government’s sheer stupidity (or is it cupidity?). A failed building society has been rescued with taxpayer’s money, albeit they’ve cleverly wrapped it up as “support” to a beneficial takeover.

I’m not talking here about LloydsTSB and its taking over of HBOS (that’s Halifax Bank of Scotland). Nope I’m remarking on the latest wheeze from the Scottish gang; that of the support given to Nationwide Building Society in the takeover (read rescue) of the Dunfermline Building Society, which apparently suddenly discovered it had losses of £24milion! I can see this must have been a surprise in a company that “even in good times” only cleared £6million profit in any one year. The quote was Graham Beale, the Chief Executive of Nationwide Building Society.

To be clear, I’m sure the good folk of Dunfirmline and its surrounding parts are genuinely shocked, worried and indeed horrified at the thought of losing their homes, and indeed it would be churlish, under normal circumstances to wish them ill. However let’s look at these rescue deals geographically shall we?

Royal Bank of Scotland, now, this has been taken over by the taxpayer after having made the biggest loss in British corporate history. Then we have that LloydsTSB (now Lloyds Group) takeover of HBOS, brokered by Gordo who broke his own fiscal policy in order to make this happen. The link here of course is that HBOS is an acronym for Halifax Bank of Scotland. You might have spotted that too. And now we have the Dunfermline (which is in Scotland) Building Society. Of course we had Northern Rock, which is based in the English part of the United Kingdom so its rescue package at least could be seen to balance the argument, until you see in whose constituency the head office is located. Yep Jim Cousins, a labour MP.

I know I may be running the risk of being a Murray Walker here but I can’t help thinking that if the failed businesses were called “Bank of Surrey” or “Mansions R Us (Hampshire) Building Society” then the rescue deals would have been less forthcoming. However Gordon the Clown and his team know which side their bread is buttered, thus I recommend that every financial institute or business in the UK changes its registered name so the words “of Scotland” appear somewhere, thereby guaranteeing that every taxpayer in the UK underwrites the business.

Horrified of Doha

The news that BA and other airlines will be reporting losses this year comes as no surprise. Indeed the recession/depression in world markets must surely impact tourism and therefore the travel plans of many people. Here in Doha I have noticed a slow-down in the new construction projects such as the Shangri La hotel and the Marriott Garden, both of which book end the City Centre shopping mall. Likewise I’m told things are progressing slowly at the Hilton which is close to my home. If evidence were needed that the travel industry is suffering, there it is.
However, many of us still need to travel and that means we need to get on a plane. Just such a circumstance arose over the weekend. Having had some issues in my racing car the previous weekend we decided to make a few changes and then get some track time in. This means testing on a non race day. Looking at the calendar it seems a good day would be 8th May at Silverstone so having confirmed it with the team I set about booking flights etc.

This is where I believe BA has targeted me in an effort to reduce those losses of which we spoke earlier! Apparently to travel from Doha to LHR on a Thursday evening and return on the following Saturday morning costs twice as much as the same flights but four days apart! Having looked around for alternatives it seems there’s no flights that meet the timing so either I book it or look at alternative dates.

Seems to this simple person that this kind of pricing is exactly why BA and others of that ilk are suffering. Time for a rethink perhaps?

Brawn displays brains.

Good to see that the revived Honda team is showing what its potential really was. With Button and Barrichello they have two good drivers and now a car that, based upon the limited testing, and yesterday’s qualifying, is equally good. Protests about the interpretation of the rear diffusers may have created a bit of intrigue but ultimately the three teams (including Williams and Toyota) have shown that by using their brains they’ve created a sea change in the Formula One Championship and let’s hope it lasts. Going back some years; it was 1977 when Colin Chapman produced his first “wing” car, the Lotus 78 which used airflow to suck the car down to the track surface, and it seems to me that these teams are reflecting that same spirit of ingenuous design approach.

Unfortunately I’m at work so cannot watch the race but I sincerely hope the result reflects qualifying because if ever a team deserved a debut win its one that has shown such fighting spirit.

How much longer do we have to put up with this?

Can we just take a few minutes to reflect on what is happening here? I refer to the foot stamping tantrums of the ruling classes, by which I mean Gordo the Clown and his chums, Alistair and Hazza. What I’m worried about and indeed it would appear I’m not alone in this, is the thinking behind this outpouring of anger over the Fred Goodwin pension. It isn’t going away and I guess I’m not helping here but the point is that if you make a deal, just because you subsequently don’t like it, doesn’t mean you should change it.

There are wider, much wider and scarier implications here. We all make a deal with our government no matter which country, which generally involves an agreement to abide by the laws of the land, pay whatever taxes are imposed and behave in a responsible manner when taking advantage of the facilities offered by the country. It is a two way bargain, because having signed up for it, the Government of the day, must maintain a consistency in its approach to matters of public importance, law and trade etc. What is scary here is that this government appears to think that just because it doesn’t like the laws which affect the bargain it made with Fred Goodwin; it can just change those laws in order to get its own back. A touch of the playground bully there; and of course as with all playground bullies, they are scary not because they are tough, but because they are unpredictable. With a playground bully you never know if you’ll keep your dinner money because it’s been stolen from your mate or today it will be filched from your pocket as protection money.

If, as this government has demonstrated on previous occasions, it does push through a law in this case in order to obtain Sir Fred’s pension then presumably that law will apply to anyone, simply because you can’t make laws personal, they apply to the land. Therefore anyone who is currently saving for their future (although here I’m unsure as to what the efficacy of such action may be at this time) is fair game to have it stolen from them by Gordo the Clown and his previously mentioned mates.

Then there’s taxation. Some people live in regimes where taxation is applied to funds that are earned in the home country and not to funds earned in overseas locations. It is a source of constant envy for folks who can’t live/move abroad, that those who can are benefitting from what is assumed to be a “tax free” existence. Time to clarify a few things here before I come to the point: First if you are a Brit working abroad and you are registered as overseas then you can’t go home for longer than 90 days per year, if you do, you pay the tax on all of the earnings you accrued that year. Second if you wish to return at some point you continue your social security (we call it National Insurance) contributions, whilst overseas, but because you aren’t actually using the facilities, you get to pay a reduced sum. Third if you own a home in the UK you pay all the taxes and levies applicable to that home and in this case it is unchanged, whether you are at home or not.

I realise that this may not apply to other countries, in particular the USA but it is the current status in the UK. However, and this is another scary thing, it appears that Gordo has a further terrific wheeze. He’s apparently suggested to the other EU members that it would be good to grab the taxes on those expat funds because they deserve to be fleeced even though as above they’ve worked hard and suffered in return an inability to enjoy life at home. I’m sure many will not sympathise with the last point but the former is real and thus deserves some consideration.

However in his greed he ignores the financial boost the economy gets from expats who generally return their income to their home shores. Offshore accounts are OK but they are restrictive. These funds in turn help the institutions by way of investment and therefore are an unseen but very significant contribution to the economy. But if they are subject to taxation, there is no need to send them home, better to place them in the offshore accounts where the offshore country benefits instead. Good isn’t it?

But what about that taxation thing? It is clear that when the dust settles there will need to be a reckoning and there can be no doubt that the burden of that reckoning will fall upon those who are working, therefore earning wages and thus paying taxes. Indeed, as is the norm, anyone who is working in a higher paid position will be taxed at a higher level. The problem comes with what the higher level means. Is it the factory worker who is paid a minimum wage but then gets more money because of the effort he/she has put in? If so then where is the incentive for that worker to improve? Or is it the executive who is earning because he/she is bringing business and therefore trade to the country? I suspect the targets will be the latter and the former will be forgotten in the rush to villify those who are perceived to be better off. Sadly the worker who has made such an effort and is making a similar contribution to the country’s purse will be disheartened and the country will lose. The executive will probably just up sticks and move abroad in a repeat of the 1960’s “brain drain”.

Soooooooooo, bearing all of the above in mind, I wonder what the requirements are for Antartic Citizenship?